We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
