Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
