i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize