So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
