the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
