So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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