I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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