we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
