yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
