:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
