It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize