UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
