I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize