Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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