They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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