what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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