Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
