I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
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I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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