therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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