Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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