is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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