Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
