We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
