It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize