dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
