How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
