I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
