Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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