I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize