I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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