I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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