Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
