508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
this hospital has no fireball
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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