Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
