All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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