What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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