Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
