So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
