last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
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It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
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My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize