Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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