And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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