I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
