But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
