I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it's not cheating when I paid for it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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