My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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