If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
