just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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