Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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