Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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