the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The Olympian is in my bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
