I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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