did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
