I'm gonna have a badass scar
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
