he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
