You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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