you would pick up someone in the library
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
