We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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