you guys were way drunker than both of me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize