Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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